1.24am,18号2月2009年..雨后的星期三凌晨..和佩盈分开的第73天..我的部落格很黑暗..能说的就是我的部落格很让人讨厌..自己有时也讨厌..我的情绪又再转变了..我的部落格里只有很多的眼泪..我的部落格里只有很多的孤寂..讨厌眼泪..讨厌孤寂的我..为什么部落格里都是这么多的黑暗..真的很黑暗..刚刚我站在阳台上..看着天空..仿佛看到下雨着的雨水..蒙蒙胧胧的..用手去感觉..地上湿了..果然是刚才下完雨啊..天气好冷..冷风一直吹..冷得受不了..这时看到了一个非常熟晰的背影..拿着大袋小袋的..心里灰了..想着她会去那里呢?去那男生的家吧?这背影我怎么都忘记不到..怎么打扮都好..我都可以知道..她明天的课是2.30pm到6.30pm吧?我想真的可能去了那男生的地方..
我不想去多想要是她真的去那男生的那边,他们会做什么东西..因为我不敢想象..我害怕我害怕的事情发生在她身上..发抖了..不知所措..用拳头往自己的脸颊打了一圈..很痛很晕..不要再想了,不要再想了!再想也没有用!混帐!What the hell going on with me?FUCK!Just Let Me Die!Please!I feel this world are cruel on me!i don't want thinking about it anymore!Sad enough!Whatever she do!I don't want know it anymore!Please..My Lord..I cannot handle my emotion anymore..why do you just so cruel on me?But still i thinking about her!My body was shaking!What the fuck!Why?Why?Why?
Why do not you answer me?Did i do something very wrong already?So you want me become like that?I just cannot understand!?Please save me..My lord..My hand shaking enough!Stop!!!I feeling sick again!Why my heart was so pain like that?Why i was always thinking about her?Can you please don't let me become saddness again?I hate this feeling so much?And why she want to leave me?And why she can together with other boy?And leave me behind and cry?What's happend going on?There are lot of question mark on my blog now!Please..Don't cruel on me..My heart is totally die already..
Sometimes i really feeling i'm want to jump out from my house..I cannot understand at all!!Did i love the girl i should cannot like?Just take out the saddness from me..Please..Anyone..Help me..I want survive..Just kill me..I really out of control in my mind..Damn pain inside my heart..It was bleeding!And cannot be stop right now?Even my heart was dead..But why i still miss her so much and still loving her so much?I do not know what happend?This thing was so suprise for me!But i'm don't think i'm happy!!Even i hit my face with me FIST!But i still cannot forget her!I still thinking did her do something cannot do already!?Damn!I was so scare!
Shaking...What to do now?Hit that boy tomorrow with using my own fist?Or you want me die?My lord..If you really want me sad again..I'm rather you bring me go to yourside..I don't want to see the thing i will be sad and i don't want feel sad anymore..Show me what to do now?Even you let me go to hell now,i also don't want face up the feeling of pain anymore!I don't care anymore!Let me dissappear on this world!WHY?WHY?WHY?Did i blind already?Using chinese write my blog cannot show my feeling now!But i don't think using english write my blog can be more feeling better!What am i thinking about at all?Shit!
